I'm a fraud. For the next several days I avoided saying Saint-Pourcain-sur-Sioule at all costs, constructing sentences more awkwardly than usual. When there was no way around it, I said it fast and then coughed at the end, hoping that maybe choking is a solid excuse for mispronunciation.
See I've had a shit week. The thing about being abroad is that everything is magnified. You are more sensitive and vulnerable than you will ever be in your entire life and the slightest unforeseen mishap can send you whirling into a spiral of self-doubt. I don't claim to be an expert on much, but of the mishaps that can occur when abroad...I'm your girl.
 |
| French countryside near Toulouse |
I've gone completely broke, had a round of international relationships and break-ups, been bitched out in a foreign language (well, a few languages), had my computer confiscated by Israeli security, been extremely sick, visited a French gynecologist...the list goes on.... all on another turf, away from the comforts of my friends, family, and language. I don't say this to brag, but to make a point. Traveling, just like learning a language, is trial and error. You will succeed and fail, and gradually get better at it.
So I suppose in the grand scheme of things, not being able to pronounce Saint-Pourcain-sur-Sioule isn't the most terrible thing that could happen. I was talking to a friend of mine and she asked me why I do it, after all of the uncomfortable situations and catastrophies...why do I continue to place myself in foreign environments instead of sticking with what's comfortable. In my mind, her question answered herself. If you're never challenged you're never changing; if you're never changing you're never improving. You cannot spend seven months in a foreign country and not learn something. Even if that means learning from mistakes.
No comments:
Post a Comment