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| Le Domaine de Marie-Antoinette-Versailles, February 2008 |
"I'm the worst teacher ever."
"You're the boss, don't let them take advantage of you. Be mean if necessary."
"But I'm not mean."
"Fake it. Sometimes being a good teacher means being a good actor. You have to create a new personality for your classroom."
I woke up early Tuesday morning, ready to turn things around. I'd be lying if I said that this week was flawless, but I did make some improvements. First, I don't allow students to choose where they sit anymore. Before they come into the class I place their name cards where I want them, purposefully separating groups of friends who are disruptive. Second, I don't raise my voice. I've found it's better to be silent and wait, than to compete with talkative students. Sometimes this takes a minute or two, but eventually they realize that they are being rude, and give me their attention. Third, if students refuse to participate, I keep not-so-fun back-up activities on hand to give to students (or the entire class) if they are being uncooperative.
Today another colleague offered to sit in on my class, to observe me and make suggestions. After the students left I covered my face, Me:"I just can't stand being so mean." Experienced teacher:"That was mean??"
So clearly I have a ways to go. But half of the battle is recognizing your weaknesses right? And I've done that. I've also realized that this issue bleeds over into other areas of my life; I am so afraid to piss people off and to voice my opinion, because I need to be liked. I loathe confrontation. Consequently, I waste a lot of time doing things I don't care about and am often manipulated. This needs to change, and I guess it's already starting to.
Hi dear Stephanie! I enjoyed your writing... so update me... where are you teaching? what ages? and what are you teaching?
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see you sometime. Do you live in Raleigh? Maybe you'd let me take you for coffee one day?? ~ love you much! ...lynn gulley
Sounds like you've made impressive gains for one week. Your strategies are great. The whole class thing is an excellent strategy if not overused - group contingencies motivate other students to help maintain the class environment you want and they police their own ranks. Too bad that the North Carolina DPI has forbidden us to do that, since apparently ACLU concerns trump educational research, teacher experience and common sense. BTW, why Tuesday morning? Don't you all have school on Monday?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are making the most of this situation to grow as a person, though you continue to be much too hard on yourself. I do look forward to seeing your "mean" persona and will think of you when I'm working with my first-year elementary teachers as they struggle with their discipline issues. (That's because you are an inspiration - not a bad example!)
Lynn---Thanks for reading! I am teaching high school English in France for the year! I've been here three months so far. I would love to see you when I get back in the spring!! Hope you're doing well, love you!
ReplyDeleteLynne---Thanks! I feel like I've made some good changes, and I'm also gaining self confidence which is making everything a lot easier. Next semester I am going to implement some sort of discipline policy (especially with certain groups) just to motivate students to listen and behave. It's all very tricky, and I appreciate your advice so much. Hope you're doing well and having a nice holiday, miss you and love you!