Top ten reasons why learning a new language is terrifying

In Amsterdam, feeling utterly defeated by my lack of language ability. I mean no way this is a real word.

It's been a while since I've featured a top-ten list, and it seems fitting, after my first week of teaching English inside the classroom and learning French outside the classroom. So without further delay...

1. It brings us back to infancy.

Nothing is more humbling than lacking the ability to express yourself. Suddenly you are resorting to miming, sign language, grunts, charades, just to tell someone you're hungry.

2. Perpetual awkwardness
People like to fit in. Even outgoing life of the party people. But when you are in a new country or in an environment where a new language is being spoken, you are the odd one out. Every time.

3. Personality loss
The first time I came to France, I was shocked at how frustrated I felt by my muffled personality, that I was unable to project with my limited vocabulary. Wait a minute! I'm funny! And smart! And a really big deal back home! They just didn't get it.

4. Everyone is talking about you
With time I've gotten over this, but when I first started to learn French, I just KNEW that everyone was talking about me. Every laugh was definitely at my expense.

5. Fulfilling stereotypes
We all fight them, but they are there. And whether you like it or not, foreigners expect Americans to speak only English, and our attempts to speak other languages are often mocked.

6. We get stuck in language comfort zones
I spoke of this in an earlier blog, but it is so easy to get really comfortable with introductory stuff, you know "Hi, my name is Stephanie, I like Brad Pitt and going to the beach." And then, out of no where, some smart ass throws me for a loop. I'll blush, mumble, incorrectly conjugate something before running away.

7. You'll never blend in
One of the things I'm embracing this go-around is that I will stick out like sore thumb, no matter what. Especially in a small town like Saint-Pourcain, everyone knows I'm a foreigner, and that attracts attention.

8. Offending someone is way too easy
Anyone who has spent time learning another language knows how easy it is to mispronounce a word and bam! You've just told someone to f*** off. Well that's a little extreme, but it is easier for a foreigner to sound rude, because they don't know the correct tense of a verb, or they are trying so desperately to communicate that they forget the particulars.

9. For a long time you will sound like an idiot
Face it. No matter how hard you study, the only way to become fluent is to practice, practice, practice.

10. You'll probably only catch half of what's being said.
This hasn't been too much of a problem for me so far, that is until I went to the bank. Oh la la. That poor woman. It took us over an hour, a dictionary, and a cigarette break to successfully open my bank account.

I am spending half the weekend in Vichy with a colleague from the lycee and the other half with a new friend who lives in Clermont-Ferrand, so plenty of awkward, challenging, foreigner moments to come. Stay tuned.